Light My Path

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105 Your word is a lamp for my feet,
    a light on my path.
                 Psalm 119:105

Last week in church we sang a song with the lyrics “We won’t move without you” and that really hit me.  Right then I had to sit down and grab my journal and jot down a few notes.  I wish I always had that mentality.  That thought process that I’m not going to even take one more step without God’s direction and approval.  I don’t do that.  Instead I worry about what the future holds and where life is going to take us.  Are my kids going to get to grow up in one town?  A small town or a big city?  Will we move them repeatedly in search of the “ideal” job or will we get to finally settle down?  Will hard work, long hours, accumulating debt and time away from family ever pay off?  I really would love for God to tell me what lies ahead when really, shouldn’t I only need to know the next step as long as I know I’m headed in the right direction?  That would be truly trusting in Him.

16 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
    along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
    and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
    I will not forsake them.
                  Isaiah 42:16

At K2 the church in Salt Lake City I was fortunate enough to get to be part of the Crash, which is what they call their group of members.  During the “Crash Course” as we learned the church’s beliefs we also participated in challenging exercises that taught spiritual lessons.  One of the things they did with us (WARNING- SPOILER AHEAD 🙂 ) was blindfold us in one room and then have a partner lead us downstairs to the sanctuary.  We waited in a long line of other blindfoldees for our turn to do who knows what.  When it was finally my turn, my partner lead me through two sets of double doors and guided my hands to a rope and told me, “Hold on tight.  Don’t let go.”  I recognized the lead pastor, Dave whisper, “What’s your name?”

“Lisa.”

“Okay, Lisa, do you trust me?”

“I would like to.”  He giggled.

“Good enough.  What you’re going to do is run as fast as you can.  Can you do that?”

“Umm…yeah.  I think so.”

“Okay, go for it.  You can do it.”

I ran.  I ran as fast as I could, or at least I would like to think it was as fast as I could, but I was still blindfolded.  And I did slow up a bit when I started getting rope burn on my hands. (Later, they ran to get gloves for the people after me.)  I could hear Dave shouting my name along with other people that I hadn’t yet met.  Shouts of “Go Lisa!  Run!  Faster!” filled my ears along with my own footsteps.  Fear of falling was always in the back of my mind and also the fear of what was waiting for me at the other end. By this time I had figured out where we were and I knew at some point I would run into the stage.  I ran and I held onto the rope that was guiding me down the right path.  I didn’t trip or fall, and at the end, I was stopped by five men holding huge soft pillows.  After every new Crash member had gotten a chance to run we talked about how what we had just experienced matched our walk with God.  How fast are we willing to run when we can’t see what lies in front of us?  How much do we trust God?  We know He’ll lead us in the right direction as long as we trust Him.  And if we know that, that He will guide us, is it truly necessary that we see first?  I want to be able to follow Him blindly.  I want to.  I don’t think I’ve reached that level of trust yet, if I’m completely honest with myself.  But I know that He is good.  And I know that He loves me.  So I pray that I can trust Him enough to be as bold as my prayer suggests.

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I am standing
And darkness surrounds me.
My next step cannot be taken.
I am searching
And blackness is all I see.
I can’t afford to be mistaken.

So I am waiting.
Waiting for you, Father.
And it doesn’t matter that the end of this path
Is unknown to me.
Because all I need is just enough light
For one more step
So I can see
How to get one more foot closer to You.

I am standing
And darkness is behind me.
My past cannot be renewed.
I am searching
And blackness is in front of me.
I am trusting my future to You.

So I am waiting.
Waiting for you, Father.
And it doesn’t matter that the end of my path
Is unknown to me.
Because all I need is just enough light
For one more step
So I can see
How to get one more foot closer to You.

amen

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